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That which hath gone before | That which followeth

Just started reading the first of the Chicagoland Vampires series.

It starts engagingly.


p. 26 - apparently one can "pour through" a book. Either "paw through" - unlikely in context - or "pore over" please.

p. 30 - apparently Elgar wrote "The Lark Ascending". Silly me - I thought it was Vaughan Williams.

I'm only on page 30 ...


p. 58: "he clucked me beneath the chin" (Master Vampire has been supping on chicken blood?) More chin-clucking p. 221.

p. 89: apparently the heroine can have her arse (ass, sorry) stared at while she's sitting in a chair. My mistake - she jumped up to pace while she thought. I am beginning to skip bits, it's soooo riveting.

p. 126: over 1/3 of the way through. Shouldn't I be engaged by now? Shouldn't I care about the characters, be intrigued by what is happening? I am in two minds about whether to continue or not.

p. 151: "... he turned to me and lifted my hands around his neck, put his hands at my hips, and moved in perfect syncopation to the music." Hmmmm. Not so sure I'd want to dance with someone who moved in syncopation to the music. Mr Dicky's a bad enough dancer as it is, without that.

P. 159: "I finished brushing, splashed a little water in my mouth, and spit." Last time I looked, the past tense of "to spit" was "spat". Perhaps in some dialects it's different, but this is supposed to be an Eng Lit grad student.

p. 179: '"I don't feel a day over seventy-one." "A spritely seventy-one." "A spritely seventy-one," he agreed. ' Well, I certainly don't agree with that spelling of sprightly.

p. 180: "We justify it by saying its necessary to protect ourselves." Missing apostrophe, much?

p. 234: "I exist to give you orders. If you question those order, you'll find your ass on the floor." Aside from the donkey-abuse, there's a missing 's' here.

Update Wednesday:

p. 256: "wondering how and when Mallory'd had a chance to see Catcher prophesizing." prophesizing"?! Dude. Seriously. The word is "prophesying".

p. 302: "Standing perpendicular to Ethan was a tall, dark-haired man ..." [my italics] I'm having a little difficulty visualising this one. However, Mr D has come to my rescue, informing me that this is perfectly normal for vampires. So, apparently, this uber-cool dark-haired vampire is floating horizontally - or maybe lying on the floor. And this is cool. Because he's a vampire. Or something.

p. 323: ' "'No reneging.' 'I don't reneg.'" No, dear, I'm sure you don't. Whatever it is. [my italics again]

I am sure there are more to be found, but really, I galloped to the end.

Synopsis: Hyper-beautiful but nevertheless down-to-earth medieval lit grad student, disaffected daughter of rich and powerful man, rejecter of all notions of power, money, influence and fashion, gets vampired against her will (it was to like save her life, dude), thus reluctantly becoming a member of a vampire clan to whom nothing is more important than power, money, influence, and - first and foremost - fashion. Head vamp is hot. Wow, bet you weren't expecting that. Heroine turns out to be mysteriously ace at weapons and accedes to cool leather outfit. Cool leather outfit seems to make all sense of independent thinking dribble out of the bottom of heroine's skull.

I think there may have been a murder mystery in there somewhere.

So, my avid readers, go out and grab the first copy of "Some Girls Bite" by Chloe Neill. There's a copy in my bin. Collection's not until Friday evening.

Now I am going to have a bucket of wine.



( 36 comments — Leave a comment )
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May. 31st, 2011 07:48 am (UTC)
Or, as in the country I'm residing, books/articles written by bigshots or big name people in whatever industry must not be touched at all. They must not even be edited with a light hand. Why? Because over here, it is considered an affront to the bigname whoever. Who are we editing/proofreading peasants to correct these high and mighty figures? Since they are high and mighty and successful and rich, they know better than us lowly bottom feeders. Or so the local mindset goes. Then, there's also the mindset that editing and proofreading is an easy/cushy job which can done by any monkey, so editors are treated as something better than a receptionist in the office but less important than the secretary. This is within the local context here, mind. And us freelance editors and proofreaders are considered the worse of the lot because we are perceived ignorant, empty vessels who make a lot of noise to correct our betters when we should really just leave their perfection alone.
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:34 pm (UTC)
Do I detect a slight hint of bitterness?
(no subject) - mmestrange - Jun. 1st, 2011 06:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 31st, 2011 08:05 am (UTC)
You can pour through a book if you liquidise someone thoroughly. And vampires know this better than anyone's

And of course elgar wrote lark ascending, it's just that Williams like totally ripped him off and said it was him and now the truth can be known! It took some American writer to have the courage to come forth with the truth!
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:35 pm (UTC)
oh wow ur like so right i never like thought of it like that innit
May. 31st, 2011 08:25 am (UTC)

Oh, dear.

Maybe the book was actually a cunningly disguised colander or sieve... ;-)
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:36 pm (UTC)
There's more ...
May. 31st, 2011 08:35 am (UTC)
Read this out to B, and his comment was 'Elgar writing Lark Ascending was where the timeline to the Alternate Universe with the vampires split from ours, obviously.'

Does the Master Vampire bear any resemblence to Foghorn Leghorn?
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:36 pm (UTC)
B is such an optimist.

Actually Master Vamp is a complete rip-off of Eric from True Blood - without any authenticity.
May. 31st, 2011 09:32 am (UTC)
Oh, dear...

It is possible to have one's ass stared at while sitting in a chair. It requires that the chair have a large gap in the back and that one is leaning forward. But it's not generally the most flattering angle, and it's rather obvious when someone's doing it...
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:37 pm (UTC)
Clearly, you have been experimenting.
(no subject) - tonksinger - Jun. 1st, 2011 10:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 31st, 2011 10:25 am (UTC)
I found the series (what there is of it so far) quite entertaining. Though those vampires are even more toothless than the Twilight vamps, and that's saying something.

Also, as you say, the editing is very sloppy. Not to mention the formatting of the eBooks. And at that price ... the eBooks aren't any cheaper than the paperbacks! o_O
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:38 pm (UTC)
Well, I certainly won't be reading any more of them. I have cheap scifi and even some good books to look at.
May. 31st, 2011 12:32 pm (UTC)
*reading this at the p. 126 update moment*

Step away from the book. :)

(seriously, if I still wasn't engaged this far into a book, I'd put it aside. I used to believe in magical reading techniques, i.e., once a book was opened, it had to be finished, but no longer. Although, in my case, this is a result of the aging process, I reckon: I only have so many reading years left! *g*)
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:39 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry. I couldn't do it. It exerted a curious fascination. OMG! Perhaps the Master Vamp glamoured me!

Found some more good ones, though.
(no subject) - bethbethbeth - Jun. 1st, 2011 07:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - dickgloucester - Jun. 1st, 2011 07:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 31st, 2011 02:17 pm (UTC)
~points up~ What Beth said. If a book is still unengaging 1/3 of the way into it, that's more than just a slow start. It's almost certainly not worth reading, or at least it isn't a good fit for you. And life is too short to waste time on books you don't love. Especially when the editing is so haphazard.
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:40 pm (UTC)
I carried on.

Someone had to do it.
May. 31st, 2011 04:17 pm (UTC)
*splutters* '...in perfect syncopation to the music' is priceless and deserves a place with Ouida's famous 'All rowed fast but none so fast as stroke.' Your author (and sub-editor) are obviously kindred souls of the author of the Snarry I have just given up reading. She claims it was proofread, and then argues that her multitude of spelling and grammatical mistakes, canon and continuity errors and irrational plot twists are the result of the rapidity of her creative flow. Spit.
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:40 pm (UTC)
I didn't even touch on the quality of the writing and conception overall.
May. 31st, 2011 05:31 pm (UTC)

Many years ago, I was reading a very ling sci-fi book in a long car trip. Until around 2/3 of the way through, it was fine, and about page number whatever the proofreader was attacked by a band of ferocious pirates and fed to the dogs. It got so bad that I took out a ballpoint pen and started making corrections. And I stopped paying attention to the text, so I have no idea what happened then.

When I finally got home, I took out my trusty typewriter and wrong a long and detailed letter to the publishers, detailing every typos I had found. They did answer me. It was a nicely-worded "meh." It made me feel better, but it also destroyed my illusions that everyone cares. I was fourteen at the time, so it was a good lesson.
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:41 pm (UTC)
I can imagine. Most people just don't give a shit.
May. 31st, 2011 06:16 pm (UTC)
*gogglesnort* Mr. Aurette dances in perfect syncopation to the music. It's ugly. He can turn a foxtrot into a mosh pit every time.
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:42 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:42 pm (UTC)
Jun. 1st, 2011 04:59 pm (UTC)
*sings* He dances over head
Perpendicular to my bed,
In my site,
All through the night.
I tried to hide in vein
Underneath my counterpain,
But there's my love
Syncopating above.
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:42 pm (UTC)
LOLs. <3 you.
Jun. 1st, 2011 05:33 pm (UTC)
Americans do, apparently use spit in place of spat. They do it with knit instead of knitted.

Jun. 1st, 2011 05:45 pm (UTC)
Well, they're wrong.

Oops are my prejudices showing?

I don't object to AmLit written in AmEng in an AmContext - I even overlook "gotten" in such circumstances. But. This Heroine (TM) is supposed to be edumacated. In BritLit, which she supposedly takes to heart.

Just as Elgar's "Lark" reflects her spirituality.

Edited at 2011-06-01 05:46 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - mundungus42 - Jun. 1st, 2011 05:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 2nd, 2011 05:35 am (UTC)
Bit of a train wreck experience, wasn't it? You really ought to chuck it into the dustbin after the first, say, 50 pages but feel compelled to go on. The urge to find out whether it continues to be so bad, or maybe gets worse, is quite irresistible.
Love the plot, BTW.
To think that stuff like this has a chance of getting published...
Jun. 4th, 2011 05:28 pm (UTC)
I know. It's so bad it's fascinating. Completely infantile.
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